I roared into 2022 wildly saying yes.
This was in stark contrast to the year before, where I stripped my life back. Little by little I was able to clear my plate of anything no longer serving me. This process left me feeling so good, that by the time 2022 came around I felt ready to take on the world. It was magical. I was like, yes! Yea, I’ll try it. Why not?! Sure, let’s go!
Looking back, It was slightly unhinged (lol) cause I wasn’t thinking too much about anything other then rolling with the flow. But it felt great and things were seemingly lining up. Plus Marie Kondo-ing my life the year before had left a vast amount of space in my heart, brain and calendar.
This didn’t last long.
By mid year I was burnt out and started owning up to what I really wanted. I pulled my big girl panties up, set some boundaries, had some talks and changed. Not everything felt smooth or comfortable, but I was living in my truth and taking responsibility for my actions.
Even as I was fumbling through situations and conversations, I felt amazing. Sure there were some adjustments that needed to be made, but I was on a roll. Unstoppable!
That is until life sideswiped me about a month later. It was almost comical at the velocity the rug was pulled out from under me. Universe was like, NO bitch, you’ve had your fun, now sit down and listen.
There was deep heartbreak, disappointment, and a lot of tears compacted in a short period of time. All of which threw me into a manic state, which scared the hell out of me. You see, for the first time in a long time I had my mental health in control, and this blew that out of the water. Thankfully I was able to come back down to earth to realize I was spiraling out. Only then was I able to start the process of reclaiming my mind and power.
After days of reflection and a frantic call to my therapist, I received this very clear message:
“It’s not in the good times that our faith is tested, but in the hard times.”
This was thee “aha” moment for me. Sure, all the therapy and healing I had done was cute when everything was fine, but how was I going to deal when things were falling apart? It was simple, and this was my test. Time to put my money where my mouth is.
So, I spent the end of the year saying no and goodbye. It was a far cry from where I had started, but somehow through this dark time a light was illuminated on my next chapter.
The first couple weeks of 2023 I’ll be living in Joshua tree learning to be a yoga instructor. I’m so excited! The support I have been receiving from loved ones has been so affirming.
It feels like I’ve come full circle this year… Instead of wildly saying yes, I’m starting from a new place of focus and insight.
And to this I said a resounding YES.
Yes to being a newbie again. Yes to learning. Yes to movement, flow and meditation.
Yes to following my instincts.
Yes to honoring my boundaries.
Yes to healthy choices. Yes to teaching.
Photo set by: Shane F King